It's Almost Time!

I know I'm overdue for an update here but with all the Holiday hustle and bustle we have been very busy. We made a trip to the polar express with family down in Durango and the girls sure enjoyed their Christmas.

Here we are though, heading straight to 2014! I have a feeling it's going to be life changing.

Christmas Eve Santa delivered a package at my door. Sure made everything REAL.



So here is the update. I take my last birth control pill on 12/30. I should expect my period one to two days after that. I'll begin the delestrogen (intramuscular butt shots) day two of my period. Those will continue every three days. I have to say after receiving the package from the pharmacy, I'm a teeny tiny bit nervous - I am a needle phobe and they aren't little by any means. Joe originally said he would do them for me, but he has since backed out. I have a friend who will step up to the plate and help me though. Next, I'll have an ultrasound on the 13th (lord be a lucky number) for a lining check. I'm gonna need more of your prayers. A good looking lining and a great retrieval from our egg donor. If all is looking good for us our transfer will be Jan 20-22. Ahhhhh, I cannot believe we are actually here!

A baby for F&C is my goal for January 2014! Thanks friends and family for all your thoughts and prayers! Can't wait to update again.


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Small Change of Plans

My period arrived early. Started on Dec 4th. Wasn't expecting it until I stopped meds on the 14th. So Dr. Sahakian's office said to stop meds immediately and start birth control pills on Friday. So as of the 6th I'm on those. I'll take the whole pack. Once I get my period, (21-25 days) I'll start the delestrogen injections, CD2. PIO injections still 5 days before transfer. Approximately 21 days after I start that we can transfer! So mid-Jan still! Anxious. But the weeks are flying by.


We received a really cute package from F&C last week and it was filled with souvenirs and goodies to try from their part of the world! Loved the rice pudding! And the girls love their Amsterdam bears, tshirts and Eiffel Tower lights. Everything was perfect. Thank you F&C! Hope they enjoy their taste of NM when it arrives!! Spicy! Lol.




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Next Steps

Been on the phone quite a bit with PFC. Short version is:

I am to stay on both the estrace and provera until December 14th. Then I call them on Day 1 of my period. Day two of my period, I will start a med call delestrogen which is an injection. I hear these are easy. Then five days before we transfer, I will begin the dreaded progesterone in oil - butt injections. Keep us in your prayers! We are getting very close and I need a great looking lining again next cycle.

Word on the street, we are transferring sometime during the first half of January! Waaahoo!

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Lining Check - Mock

Well today was the big day!! What a day it was. My dear friend Nikki graciously helped me out and watched the girls while I went to the appointment. I'm pretty sure there is a saying that things go wrong, so other things go right. Or something. If not, now there is.

Rushing two kids out the door, I decided to grab sausage biscuits for breakfast and Starbucks for my friend. I don't usually get out too early, but wow, Starbucks took forever. Got the girls to Nikki's and off I went. I was going to be there in time.

Then I pulled my usual stupid self, overthinking, I don't know where I'm going crap - and totally was going the wrong way. How many years have I lived here and I can't get to the hospital that's right off the freeway. Ugh. I stress my own self out. I called them and said I'd be a tad late and they were great about it.

Show up and get in the exam room and I was so nervous, my BP had to be skyrocketing. I went to the bathroom and while in there I prayed. Got in to my room and waiting for the tech, I prayed. This just had to work. I could not deliver more bad news to my friends.

The tech came in and she was super sweet. She was a little quiet during the exam which made me even more nervous. But she did her thing and said "you're measuring at 10-11mm" SHUT UP!! My face lit up and yes, tears of joy welled up in my eyes. I couldn't wait to break the news.

Rushed out if the hospital so I could get cell service and message F&C. I wish I could have been there. This was a big moment for us. We can move on. I am so thankful they stuck it out with me. We virtually hugged, and jumped up and down together. They celebrated with drinks & Joe and I had a fabulous date night. Dinner and a movie. And I can't stop smiling and thinking "what's next?"

Thank you all for your support and prayers and messages so far! I am so blessed!! I'm sure there will be another update soon. For now, waiting on my next cycle to begin!

Gotta love this fluffy bunny!


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The Friends I've Never Met

Ran across something today, and it made me think about my friends F&C. They hold a very very special place in my heart. To entrust in me, to carry their most precious cargo - it is a very special bond. When I read these words, I immediately thought of them. Here is what I read. I do not know the source.

It's strange to have a friend that you have 
never hugged, shook their hand or looked 
into their eyes.

But you have been touhed by their soul,
seen the good in their heart and felt
the warmth in their being.

The friends I have never met are not my
friends untouched for I have felt them
with me when I needed them.
I have confided in them and they are
some of the kindest people
I have ever known.

My Friends, Never forget how special 
you are to me.

The lining check is scheduled for Tuesday, November 26th. I pray pray pray it all goes well, and I can be extremely THANKFUL this Thanksgiving. I just know it will go great. And no matter what, I have found some amazing friends along this journey! We are put on this earth to help, and love one another. I can't imagine not being able to go through with all this for my sweet friends. <3

November

Finally! We've made it to November. Mock cycle month. I expect my cycle in about 10 days. I need to get with the clinic and be sure they are sending them this week. Nothing is changing, I will be taking oral estrace again.


October was so busy. Looking forward to the cooler temps and holidays! Hopefully if things go right I'll have wonderful news for F&C. We cannot wait to get past this mock and our fingers are crossed that we can jump into transfer very very soon. Once again, all your prayers are appreciated - specifically at this point for a beautiful, thick lining.
Ill be updating in a couple weeks. Thanks for reading.

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Great News!

I can't believe I had not updated here yet. I thought I had, then a friend mentioned she had not checked the blog lately and said what's the update. So here comes the overdue update.

F&C have graciously decided to stick it out with me. They have no idea how happy this makes me. I have grown to love that couple, and we talk weekly. They are so great, and I honestly cannot imagine doing this for anyone else right now. They are so like Joe and I - love adventure, travel, and fun, yet hardworking and family oriented. Not to mentions they are such great friends.

So lots has changed, I suppose. We are moving forward. I am cycling, and we are re-doing the mock cycle (the way it should have been done in the first place) in NOVEMBER. PLEASE PLEASE pray for a big, thick, cozy, fluffy lining. Pray you little hearts out for us please. I know this is going to work this time. And I am going to do everything in my power to be sure of that. I have a fellow surro friend who went through similar situation as mine. I won't go into the details but her lining was thin as well. She was dumped by her agency, and ended up proving herself on her own, and is now ready to start again. I will be following her "natural remedies"plan lol and hoping that my lining is just a beautiful as hers was recently! So happy for you Becca! You can read about it here: http://theirpeainmypod.blogspot.com/2013/09/awesome-ob-and-home-remedies.html.

Anyhow, there's your update! Thanks for checking in, following along, and as always, thanks for the prayers!

Much love,
Katy

Limbo!

Still here, still going to pursue surrogacy! No worries there. Just not really sure what is going on at the moment.

I talk to F&C weekly still and I have to say it is very nice to hear from them. I just know they will have better news soon. As of last week, they still want to work with me. We are just trying to hash out a few things right now. So I will ::patiently:: be waiting to hear more.

Hoping everything with this match works out. I haven't really found another agency that I am loving yet. Not sure why. But it will all come together as it should.

Thanks everyone!!
Hugs to F&C!

Starting Over.

Well, I decided today I am starting over. I cannot tell you why this all happened. I do not understand it. One MAJOR thing fell through the cracks, and they screwed us. But now, I think it is best to start over and start fresh with a new agency. I'm trying to read between the lines, and the way this all went down, I'm not willing to stay with Circle. Hopefully I'll find one that stands behind their people a little better. I am researching and talking with some other gals about agencies, so we will see where I end up applying later on.

 For now I am cycling again (this makes two) since the removal of the IUD one month ago. By the time I find a new agency, fill out paperwork, match, etc. I will be having regular cycles and ready to go. I'm praying it goes smoothly from here on out. I'm ready to put this bad experience behind me, because it has consumed me the last two weeks, and I'm so over it. However, I am not over F&C. I am heartbroken to not be matched with them anymore! But as I have said, I hope we can remain friends and we can be in contact as they continue their personal journey as well. I can't wait to see them holding their baby. They will be amazing, deserving parents. They have been such great friends too. I will think of them often. 

Keep on checking back. I am not going to let this hold me back from my dreams of helping a family out. I know I can give a baby a cozy home to grow in. I've done it twice with no problems and I will do it again! Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers, and messages. I appreciate you all for checking in on me. 

Not Disqualified?

Oh my gosh, I've been put through the ringer.

Normally I am very quick to react. Sometimes even over react. I am very proud about how I have handled the past few days. Friday and Saturday I just cried. Sunday turned to anger. Monday I gathered my thoughts. Glad I went through the motions and didn't send a few emails I felt like sending. And glad I had time to "chill out" before phone calls were made - even if I had absolutely nothing to say when they called. I kept the profanities to myself....I really was speechless.

Today was a day full of emails, phone calls, frustrations. Emails from quite a few of circles staff....disqualified. Phone call, disqualified. And "best wishes in future endeavors, please be thankful you've helped future surrogates by bringing things to our attention." Oh! Why, thanks! Glad I could help.

I did stand up for myself, finally - and later I received a call from Dr. Sahakian himself, stating that when I've been off the IUD 3-6 months (he says Dec.) I can try another mock cycle. AND even if that mock cycle failed, he'd allow another one. This is so not what I was told even hours before this phone call. I said to Sahakian, "so I'm not disqualified forever? Circle even said so!" And he says "are you kidding! You're perfect and I'd use you as a surro!"
So, very very long story, short -I just need to take some time, since the IUD just came out and we can hopefully move forward. PRAY FOR THIS.

So the saga continues. More to come. More phone calls tomorrow I'm sure. Whew. My day improved by the minute. Dr. Sahakian called with better news and I got to speak with F&C (which always makes my day.)

So while I may not be able to continue with F&C as I would prefer(so many of you are asking) this is still better news than before. Thankful today for answers to our confusion and questions unanswered.

Goodnight my friends. Thanks so much for your sweet thoughts the last few days.
Katy

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Disqualified

What a load of crap. That's all I have to say. This process that brought me though so much paperwork, hours and hours of phone calls, emails, medical files being transferred, psych evals for Joe and I, and more importantly a special friendship between F&C so far away, is all over. And my heart is heavy for them.

For myself, I'm so full of anger. I am trying to be mature and humble myself in regards to Dr. Sahakian, but he ruined my chances of surrogacy for right now. And with Circle as well. They are both to blame in my eyes and its very upsetting. The ball was dropped. I love how there is now a clause in the application process with Circle stating that "IUD's are to be removed two months before applying." After being told mine will be removed at my screening appointment with the IVF clinic. Going RIGHT into a mock cycle immediately after removal, then being disqualified. Dr. Sahakian had me doing the least medicated mock cycle I've heard of so far. This is all so upsetting. I did not get another chance like others who've had a thin lining, it is not fair. If any future surros read this, I hope this is good information to you. I've spoken with other surros who've had issues with Sahakian disqualifying them only to currently be delivering babies for their IP's.

Anyhow, I never thought this is what I'd be writing, but I'm letting you all know so hopefully I can just put it past me and not have to explain over and over again why I'm not pregnant yet. Maybe later down the road I'll try again, most definitely with another agency and obviously a different clinic but for now, I think I just need to step back from it.

Thanks for all the warm thoughts and prayers through this process and I ask for you to please continue praying for F&C as this is most unfortunate for them. However, I know that soon they will have their hope in their arms. Just wish it was me giving it to them. I have hope we will remain friends even through this unfortunate situation. They are the sweetest couple!!!!

Big hugs,
Katy


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Speechless

I know a lot of you are asking about how the ultrasound went yesterday. I wish I could say it went good, but it didn't. On top of not being a great ultrasound things after the ultrasound went way wrong.

It seems like an 8mm lining is ideal, but still on the thin side. Mine was either 4mm or 5mm - I was told two different things so I'm not sure what it was. Regardless, I knew the result wasn't good and I immediately contacted the IVF doctor for resolution. I asked him if we could change our med protocol. Asked if we could up meds, change meds - what's next? I've done my research and I talk to many surrogates. There are many options, and I'm not the only person this has happened to, in fact it is fairly common. However what came next nobody was prepared for.

The email response I got back was very short, cold. Basically said he thinks I am not a good candidate for gestational surrogacy and I've been disqualified. To stop taking all meds. That's it. My journey is over. Um.....excuse me?!

As heartbroken as I am, It killed me to have to break this new so my sweet IP's. I DID NOT want to contact them and tell them this news, (F has been very busy with work and C is vacationing with her father), but I wasn't getting much help and needed someone on my side. They are crushed. I am crushed. But I am thankful for our communication. I know this is so hard for them, and frankly I wish they didn't have to deal with it. It is not fair.

This will be the longest weekend ever. We've had correspondence with the doctor and it wasn't great. Now we must wait for Monday to see what our agency says. Maybe they will step in. Never would I have imagined it would end this quick, or in this way. This is such an emotional process and to be kicked to the curb so quickly is not only insensitive and hurtful, its unprofessional. I've talked to so many surrogates and read too many blogs to know this is not how it ends. As one surrogate friend wrote to me, "My oral Estrace wasn't increasing my lining enough, so I had to start inserting it vaginally. That's not uncommon apparently. I was only on it twice a day, MANY surrogates have told me they were on 5 or 6 pills a day. Plus there are estrogen patches, injections, and creams too. Inserting the pills vaginally usually makes a huge difference, sometimes as much as 1mm a day!" She had a cancelled transfer, but she didn't get disqualified. It seems unheard of.

I'm hurt, confused, annoyed and I wish this will all go away. They say everything happens for a reason but this I do not understand. Please be praying about this. It is not the end for us.

I could go on and on right now, but for now - I'm just gonna sit back and wait for more information, I'm already driving myself crazy. Information overload.

Biggest hugs to F&C - seriously love you guys!
Katy

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Mock Screening Appt

Today I got the email that my monitoring appt for this mock cycle is scheduled. I was beginning to wonder about when it would be because we are coming up on three weeks of the meds, which is when I needed to have the ultrasound. So Friday is the day!

This will be a quick and easy (hopefully) appointment with a local clinic to check that my lining is responding to the medications, should be thick n' fluffy. Which is exactly how I've been feeling lately lol. Lets hope that's a good sign hahaha! Anyhow, a few people I know said wonderful things about Dr. Caperton and Thompson at Center For Reproductive Medicine, so I did recommend them to PFC, so glad it worked out that I could go there too. I am hoping this appt goes well, I'll admit I'm pretty dang nervous for the results but am praying praying that its working and we get to move forward!!

I'll be back here in a few days to post some results. Be thinking if us please!



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It's Here.....

Well, after four years of pretty much NO monthly visitor, she has made her presence known. Sorry to those of you who don't care to read about it, but it is a part of the process. I feel like I'm being paid back for the last four years all in one day. Don't miss it one bit! I'll admit, I was a little worried it would take forever to come since I haven't had one in so long - since nursing the girls seemed to have kept it away, and then having the mirena in after Allie was born. So thank you for answered prayers!! Bring on the cramps and headache!

 Regardless, this is great news, and I'm glad to be going through it because this means I start taking the meds tomorrow. I sent Dr. S the email he requested, and after many phone calls and emails, I finally was able to confirm the meds will be on the way, overnighted by the clinic's pharmacy. My fingers are crossed that they arrive quickly (I just got the tracking number so that helps me relax a little)! Everything is so time sensitive. So I'll be on 4 weeks of a pill called estrace and then one week of a pill called provera. Pray my lining does what it should! From there we should be moving on to the injections. One more month, fingers crossed.

On another note, went back to hot yoga today with my buddy Nikki. She rocked it, me not so much. Was not a good yoga day for me today. That's okay though, it make me feel great, and I'll be back on my game tomorrow hopefully.

In the meantime, I wait for the doorbell to ring so I can sign for these pills. Exciting right?! YES!

Screening In LA

Monday morning we flew out of Albuquerque at 6am. I haven't been up at 4am in quite a while. But it wasn't too bad, especially because I was excited! We arrived in LA around 7am and picked up the rental car (took forever to get a shuttle there). After getting the car we were hungry for breakfast so we decided that we would drive over near PFC where my appointment was because we didn't know about traffic. We at a yummy place called Novel Cafe. They had lots of healthy choices which was great after splurging at our family reunion. You should know my love for tasty food by now.

We arrived at PFC at 9:40am for my 10:00 appt. We waited just about 45 minutes before being called back to speak to the Dr. He's great! He was funny, had a great sense of humor and easy to talk to. He said we could contact him directly if we had any questions during any part of this process. He gave me some information on the process, but what it all came down to was getting my mirena out. Since I have the mirena he said we need to do a mock cycle. This means I'll be on four weeks of medications (estrace and provera -these are pills and not injections, thankfully) and during the third week they will do an ultrasound to be sure my lining is good and thick. This will all start when I get my period (sorry if TMI). The ultrasound I can do locally. From there, if it looks good we can move on. So now I get to pray I can start my cycle soon! After we discussed this stuff we waited another 30 minutes or so before I had to go back to give lots of blood, and get the ultrasound. He said everything looks great - I have good weight, ovaries, and uterus on my side, and I think we should have good success. So excited for F&C!!

After the appt it was time for lunch so we headed to Santa Monica Pier! I really wanted to go see the beach. I've missed it tons! We walked around the pier and decided to eat at "Bubba Gump Shrimp Company." Wow, they had the most delicious coconut shrimp. I was in heaven. Love coconut shrimp. After eating we rented beach cruiser bikes and went on a two hour bike ride down to Muscle/Venice Beach. Talk about people watching!!! Some of these people you would see on Ripley's Believe it or Not. Haha. It was quite entertaining. But it was beautiful, and I wish we could do that again today. After returning bikes we walked the beach for a bit and picked up some seashells for Sarah. We can't wait to bring her to the beach someday, she would soooo love it! I can see her running around now in search of treasures.

We checked into the hotel around 5pm. It was very nice and we got there just in time for the hosted wine hour! We hung out there a bit, then headed out to walk to find a place to eat and shop a little. We ate at a great pizza place where you picked your toppings, called 800 degrees. Delicious. Picked up a surprise for the girls while shopping. Then we got pretty tired because we woke up at 4am.

Overall had a great trip. Seems like we were gone longer than we were but I guess that's always a good thing when you're traveling!

On the plane now and about to take off - so better go! Looking forward to the next steps. And also anxious to meet F&C!! They seem so fun! Why are planes so cold? Next time packing my sweater and socks since they don't have blankets anymore! My toes are froze! Thanks for reading everyone!

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My Thoughts.

So as many of you know I'm on Instagram and I follow "Fat Mum Slim" who has a monthly photo a day prompt. Well today's prompt is "enjoying life." This has pushed me deep into thought. Haha. And no, I still have not decided what the photo will be. However, it did make me think about life in general. What do you do to enjoy life? What makes you happy? I have a little list I thought I'd share. These things are why I enjoy life: spending time with family, moments with great friends, good conversations, helping those in need, listening to others problems, hopes, dreams, desires, brightening up someone's else's day, giving gifts no matter how big or small. As you can see my happiness comes from acts of service. I would say I have a soft, sincere heart for people in general. I hate to see anyone hurting.

So that's when it came to me. F&C are seriously making MY dreams come true. I felt a calling to surrogacy. I cannot tell you how exciting all this is to me. All the things above that make me happy are rolled into this surrogacy. Now can you feel my excitement?? I get to make new friends, learn new things, brighten their days, have good conversations and help make a family! I don't think it gets much better than this.

Acts of service. Making others smile. This is what I enjoy. It doesn't matter if it's my own child, husband, friend or complete stranger. If I'm bringing joy to someone else - my mission is accomplished!
So big huuuuuugs and a huge thank you to F&C for bringing joy to my life in more ways than one! I couldn't be happier to be doing this for you! And my husband!! He's such an awesome and supportive husband to stand by me through this as well.

As always thank you for reading! We love your comments as well. Please "follow" our blog to receive all the exciting updates to come.
Katy
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Moving On!!!

So last night I emailed over the signed copies of my contract to my attorney, and today I sent the full and final contract back to Circle. Wahoo! Let me tell you what a relief it was to get that out of my hands. That thing stressed me out. I'm not they type of person that like negotiations, I am thankful my attorney knows ropes and what was the norm - she made suggestions and I listened.... I didn't like to discuss this stuff, although I know I had to think about myself for a minute, it was hard. I didn't want anything I went back on to offend my amazing IP's. Not a fan of that part at all. BUT we are done, and we are moving on!

Big step forward from the paperwork today was a call from the fertility clinic in LA, and they scheduled me for my screening. Joe and I will be flying out of here bright and early on July 8th and returning home early afternoon the following day. This is just a quick trip to get a medical screening and some IVF information. Hoping to have some time to glance and step in the ocean for a bit before we leave. I should just cancel the hotel and sleep on the beach. But Joe would be too afraid a shark would eat him, so we better just check in to the hotel. Haha.

Still in touch with F&C. Their hometown sure does sound amazing. I NEED to get out there one day to take in the beautiful GREEN sights, smell some rain, drink some good wine, and eat delicious food. Pretty much sums up my favorite things right there haha. Cheese. Yum. I have visions of C and I hanging out in the pool chatting one another up! Such a sweet couple. Be thinking of us! So happy we are finally progressing!

Still Here!

We are still here, pushing forward. I know it seems like we have stalled in terms of progress, there is just A LOT of paperwork going on behind the scenes right now. And I have much less to do than F&C do! I hope they are getting some sleep between paperwork, work, and life! I'm sure we will be moving forward shortly. I sure hope so, I'm not a very patient person haha. But this is definitely well worth the wait!

Be in touch shortly!
Katy

Spreading the News

Well, word is now getting around! I told my parents just before we matched with F&C. I knew I would need to give them time to let it soak in. I completely understand their reservations, and concerns of the risks of such a decision. I'd be concerned for my own child as well. So before I went and spread the news to everyone, I gave my parents time. We also told Joe's Mom, and I spoke to my  Aunt about it a week or so ago. All my mama group friends and a few others know- everyone is happy for me!

Yesterday one of my aunt's contacted me and said she had heard the news. I am glad my parents were able to talk about it with my grandmother. And I am glad my Aunt called to talk to me about it, and ask questions, and understand WHY I am choosing surrogacy. So thank you! From there I told the rest of my Aunts and some cousins. The response so far has been very positive, and I thank you all for your support! Family and friends are so important to me! I would appreciate thoughts and prayers for my family as well as F&C. This is an emotional and exciting process for everyone involved! I've been wanting to shout it from the rooftops since I have been talking more and more to F&C. I am beyond excited to help them realize their dream.

I love you all,

Katy

Egg donor!

Everything is moving forward!

Now we found our ED and she confirmed she would be happy to help us!

That is great, everyone is so kind with us.

In fact it took two or three weeks to find our ED, because even if circle has a lot of donors, it is quite difficult to find an available donor who corresponds to us. So for us, we found our surrogate Katy very quickly compared to our ED. I think that most of the time it is the contrary.

We are now very impatient to really start the process, and most of all, we are very impatient to meet Katy in US. We hope it will be soon...the sooner the better!

We cross fingers!

F-C

It's Arrived!

It has arrived! The first draft of contracts. I spent a good amount of time this afternoon and tonight reading all 36 pages of it, a couple times. I'll discuss with Joe and speak with our attorney about it all soon. More progress for us! Yay!

Been talking with F&C on and off this week. It's been wonderful getting to know them even more. C is very crafty and bakes delicious creations! They have a beautiful home and wonderful family as well. I even got some photos of their get together with family. They are so wonderful.

Quick post but I'm heading to bed! Hoping to hear from the clinic soon. All in good timing of course.

Katy

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About Me

I thought I'd post a little bio about myself and my family here for those of you that do not know me. I am sure my IP's will be sharing this blog with some friends and family too, so I thought it would be nice to introduce myself.

I'm Katy! I've been married to my husband Joe for 9 years. We met back in 2002 when I was a senior in high school. Joe just so happened to be one of my brothers buddies. They were car guys. All drove their mustangs and muscle cars. I too drove a cute little 6cyl GOLD mustang. I tried to be "cool" like my big brother, only I wasn't haha. Anyhow, Joe was over one day at my parents working on cars with my brother and that's when I first met him. After that we aol instant messaged for awhile and he asked me out on a date. Long story short, we've pretty much been together since. We've had ups and downs but couldn't be more thankful for where we are now. In June 2010 we had our first baby girl. Sarah is going to be three in just a couple weeks. And in March 2012 we had our second daughter Allie.

We lead a very busy lifestyle. I started a mommy and me group when Sarah was four months old and we keep very busy with all our friends. Could not be more blessed with the friends we've made through this group. I also do a little photography on the side. Joe works full time and also attends UNM engineering school. We enjoy everything outdoors. Hiking, fishing, camping, snowboarding, lake trips. We do spend as much time with our families as possible but schedules do conflict and time is crunched. We do love our families very much and enjoy spending as much time as possible with them.

I was so blessed to have amazing pregnancies and healthy deliveries. I thought and thought about having more babies, but Joe and I believe two is a good number for us. We enjoy traveling and we want to be able to take our family on vacation often. Our family feels complete.

Im sure you're wondering how surrogacy came to mind. I did talk about this in my first post but I'll briefly touch on it again. First off I love being pregnant. Sure it has its hard times, but overall it's so amazing. Second, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't/couldn't have children of my own. I know several girls who have and are currently struggling with problems conceiving. It's a very emotional thing for me, so I can only imagine how these couples feel. I know without a doubt that I'd be in search of someone to help me accomplish my dream. So here I am. My hope is that I can give the greatest gift to my AMAZING IP's. God led them to me and I couldn't be any more happy to be doing this for them. I feel like I've found my calling. I want to help. And I'm very excited.

So there is a brief bio of me and my family. F&C have posted their story from the start of their journey too. There are are a few posts that are back dated to specific dates, so look back and check out their posts too. I hope you all will follow along with us! It's gonna be life changing!!


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Journey Coordinator & Next Steps

So since becoming officially matched with my wonderful IP's, I have been bumped up to the next level. I have been assigned a case manager and she is going to be my point of contact throughout this process.

The coordinator sent me my "surrogacy handbook" to read over and I will be speaking with her about it in the morning. I am excited to talk to her as well. The handbook is great. I had talked to Jeni about a lot of the info in there already, but it is good to have on hand. She has also sent all my information off to the IVF clinic in LA. Once they receive that packet, they will be contacting me (within 10 days) to set up an appt for my medical screening, teach me about IVF and how to use the needles. It is a two day (overnight) trip and hopefully I will be meeting my IP's then too! We will see. I am not sure how all that is going to work yet.

So that is what is going on now. I have just been so happy lately, and I can't tell you how great it is to open my email and find a note from them. They are so sweet, and so deserving. I cannot wait to help give them what they have dreamed about all these years. And as a heads up, I have added them as authors on this blog, so every now and then they may pop in and say hello to you all as well! We all thank you for supporting us in this journey. It is so exciting and emotional for all parties involved.

Hope you all have had a great week! It has definitely FLOWN by for me!

Much Love,
Katy

It's officially OFFICIAL!

I am so excited and happy! This is an amazing couple! I can't wait to tell you all about them. We have been conversing back and fourth via email and they are exactly the people I've wanted to do this for. The search has ended! With their permission I'll be sharing more with you soon. What a great birthday weekend I had!! 29 is going to be an amazing, life-changing year!


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Gift.

Some of you know my birthday was yesterday. I went to the mailbox and my wonderful Aunt sent me the most amazingly perfect card with a message that fits so perfect to me right now. I told her about my surrogacy plans AFTER receiving this card. Tell me it's not perfect! She's the best.

It reads, "God not only loves you very much but also has put His hand on you for something special.
1 Thessalonians 1:4. Which is also very close to a verse I put on FB the other day as well.



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Skype Date

So today was the day! "Meeting" face to face over skype with my potential IP's. I woke up nervous, but as the day went by, I just calmed down and was relaxed by the time 1:00 rolled around.

I got the girls lunch and we all sat at the table to skype. F & C appeared, and they were just as they were in the photos I received in their profile. Such a beautiful husband and wife, just missing that one piece of their life together. We talked about family, friends, activities, marriage, hopes and wishes through this journey together etc. I even got to meet "The Beast" their sweet little rabbit. They are a fun, adventurous couple, much like Joe and I. The conversation flowed pretty smooth and I enjoyed learning more about them and where they are from.

So I did ask about their struggles with infertility, this will be another post once I know were definitely matching & with their permission I will share more, but the emotions started flowing about their struggles and I just was hit with a love for this couple. We went from laughing and talking, to tears. Ten years they have tried. I cannot imagine. I will be praying this is the end of those struggles for them, and I can help make their dreams come true.

As we hung up on skype, I sat and took it all in for a moment. I am more than excited about this, and confident in this being a wonderful match. I can't stop smiling, and I hope they feel the same about us.

I have so much left to do today, sorry this post is brief, but I promise it is going to be so great from here on out! Thanks so much for yall's support! I wonder what they are thinking/talking about as they go to sleep tonight.....it is 11pm their time....hmmmmm.

P.S. Joe skyped too, he did great! I think it made our decision to do this more of a reality. I love you babe!

The Meeting!

After several emails with circle, they informed us that Katy accepted to move forward with us, a meeting is organized for the next Sunday!

So great, we are so happy, but in the same time very anxious.
if she does not like them? if she cannot understand us because of our french accent (and not good english...)? if she think we are not the good match?...a lot of questions that we cannot answer.
We crossed the fingers!

This day was so long...we were connected several hours before the meeting, just in case of!
And when the Skype began, we realized that our first inspiration was the good one. Katy and Katy family are so wonderful! it was so amazing to discover them, so great!
Immediately Katy reminds us one Fred sister, it is like if we already know Katy family.
We are so lucky to find them! Katy family is our super hero family, you know like the cartoon "The incredible"! We are sure they have superpower...


Maybe it is the end of the tube for us, now we can see the light, still far away, but now we are not alone and we can feel the warmth.

Big hugs!

All About Surrogacy

This is a wonderful blog post that says it all! I am so excited to be matched and see how this whole journey goes. It is sure to be an amazing process.

http://lovemakesafamily2011.blogspot.com/2012/03/surrogates-point-of-view.html

Twiddling my Thumbs

So here I am waiting. The week had been very uneventful but that is okay because I've been feeling very busy otherwise.

So I've been "tentatively matched" with F&C in France. We've both reviewed one another's profiles and we have agreed to the next step which is a Skype call. Yes, I am nervous. But we did hear from them via email and they are excited to "meet" and have a little talk. They seem really great. Active, loving couple, with a wonderful extended family - this baby would have cousins to play with etc.. So this is where we are at. I am excited and nervous but I know, just like the 2 1/2 hour phone call with Alicia, that this will turn out easy peasy as well.

So Sunday is the day. Please be in prayer for us. Thanks for following along in my journey!

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Gift from the sky

After signing with circle we knew that we could wait during several months before to be matched with our surrogate mother. We are waiting for so many years, some additional months cannot affect us.

And the really good surprise arrived, directly from the sky!

We received a profile of a surrogate mother from circle.
We were very surprised, because in our mind we were prepared for waiting during several months.
 In the same time we were so excited but also very anxious and stressed.

But the stress disappeared very quickly, in fact, just after seeing the photograph of Katy and her family. We knew in the second that Katy was a "gift from the sky", we had a so good feeling it is really difficult to explain this sensation. We just loved this family immediately! It was a so beautiful day!
We are so grateful!

Of course, we sent an email to circle saying YES we want!!
Then we just needed to wait to see if Katy wanted to build her journey with us...and the stress appeared again ;-)!

MMPI

Today was so busy! But it was good. I had the MMPI exam today with the psychologist. It took about 30-40 minutes. Wasn't as bad as I thought. I was kinda weirded out knowing someone was watching me take it, but I quickly got over that and it was like I was taking it alone. It wasn't hard, more of a personality test. Some weird questions but that was to be expected. Next step matching. I'm getting anxious, praying I find the perfect couple! Very very soon this will happen. No more prep work, now I'm to the real stuff. Eeeeek!

I've also joined a group on Facebook with about 8 other gals with Circle. I'm glad to have them to chat with. They've given me advice, tips, and a dose of reality. They have all had wonderful journeys so far. Can't wait!

Thanks for reading my quick little update!


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Social Worker Chat

Well Monday afternoon I had my call with the social worker. Joe and I has decided the night before we were gonna go down to Colorado Springs and pick up a new car. I told her we would be on the road and she said that was fine. I just hoped my phone service wouldn't drop our calls.

It did, just a few times but we got thru the entire 2 1/2 hr long conversation. It actually wasn't bad, and it kept me company on the road. She was very personable and made the call laid back and easy. I was nervous but quickly my nerves went away and it felt like I was talking to a friend.

The purpose of this call is to make my profile that they will send to the IP's. she asked me about my family, my childhood, jobs, education, hopes for the future and current events. It was a good conversation.

She called Joe Tuesday morning and they talked about an hour or so. He did great and is so supportive of my dreams to so this for someone. I was grateful that he took the time out for me to do this. He's so awesome.

After our phone call Alicia sent me my commitment letter. I'm pretty much all done!! I've sent the letter back in to them today and I've been accepted!! As of today I received a profile if a family the believe is my best match.......now to pray about it and hope this family is it for me! They are from France!

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Prayers!

First off, I hope you all have a Happy Mother's Day!! I just wanted to pop in real quick and ask for you all to pray for me this weekend! I have my conference call with the social worker (2 1/2 hrs) Monday at 11am. Then Joe will talk to her on Tuesday. I am really excited and so nervous at the same time!! I hope my anti-social husband can handle this okay haha! Just kidding, I know he will do great! Thanks friends!

Also just wanted to share this photo. It is so true, and this is why I want to do this so much!!

Social Work Screening

Well today I received an email from Alicia at Circle. She is one of the social workers who will assist with my screening and matching process. They have received all of my medical records and they are currently being reviewed by and IVF doctor liaison. He will pre-approve me so I can move forward in the surrogacy journey. I do not see that being a problem.

So with that step behind me, next step is a long talk with her over the phone. She will talk further about the surrogacy process and I can ask any questions I have as well. She will also be asking a lot of personal questions. Basically generating a little biography about my life. Once that is done I have a little   100 question (MMPI exam) personality type test. This is done over video conferencing with a licensed psychologist, so they literally watch me take this test. Should be interesting!

"C" is ready to move on to the next step. She is gonna look more into the legalities etc. and is kinda asking me if I want to start moving forward too. I am honest in my response to her that I am hesitant, but not un-willing to go indy. I just really want to be sure we know what we are getting into. I know this is exciting and all, but we need all our ducks in a row. People seem to do this all the time, and I am definitely in contact with those that have. She seems like a really amazing person and I really really want to help her out. We should begin to chat on FB soon, I am excited to get to know her more and more.

Found a few great bible verses I just want to jot down here. They are very inspiring to me right now.

Romans 12:6 - In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.

2 Corinthians 9:7 - You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.”

We are to give with a grateful heart, and I intend to do just that!

Communicating.

So I have been communicating with C for the past few days. She really does seem to be a perfect fit. I won't go too in depth right now, but we both agree on what we want for the most part. The only thing about C is she wants to go, what the surrogate world calls, "indy" which means independent of an agency. Being that this is my first time doing this, I feel more comfortable using my agency. So what do I do? I know no matter what, we would both have our own individual attorneys throughout the process but there is so much more to it, it seems. "C" is ready to roll, and so am I and she wants me to be her surrogate. There is also another couple that wrote me yesterday, same beliefs I have, live in Maryland, and want to go independent as well. I don't want to keep either waiting, but I also want to see what IP's the agency has to offer. So now I am in a little predicament. What to do.....how do I know who will be best for ME, and gosh I wish I could help them all!!!

I spoke with Jeni today just to ask how the process was rolling on their end in receiving my medical records, and she said she saw some things come thru today. She is waiting for an update to see if they have received everything, then my file will be complete. Once it is complete, I'll be in screening with a social worker for about a week, then I can finally receive my commitment letter and IP's profiles. She said the process should start moving faster very soon. I would really love for someone like the above two couples to be with my agency too, I can only hope!

So that is about it for right now. I hope I can make the best decision. I am being prayerful about it all.

Patiently....Waiting.

So the last few days have been pretty un-eventful in regards to all this surrogacy stuff.  It is painstaking wondering when I will hear back from the agency lol. It is ridiculous how many times a day I look in my email eager to see a message from Jeni lol. I did hear from her last night though, and she said they are expecting to receive my medical records early this week. So they will send those off to their MD and then he will approve me for the meds, etc. So we are well on our way, just need to be PATIENT. Which is not really in my vocabulary.

That being said, I've really been praying for patience, because this is not something to rush. I read something today that really spoke to me. And I know it will speak to you as well. It said, "God is never late, but he is never early." If we allow God to guide our paths, he will make a breakthrough in our lives, in HIS time not ours.  I will find someone who shares my beliefs, and I should not have to lower my standards. Even if I am a "tougher" match. I don't want to be in a position where I will have regrets.

Soooo.....I got an email from a lady who saw a post I made on a site and she sent me an email with her story. I will call her "C". She is just the person I have been looking for. Unable to have another child, and a devout Christian. We did some introductions and we will see where this all goes. But I am excited to have found someone so far! I just need to get more details about her expectations and the way she plans to go about all the legalities etc. Sorry to be so vague, but it's a very new detail in this journey. Just be in prayer for me and C!

Medical Clearance - Check!

Well, I had my OB visit, and Kim was so excited to hear I wanted to do such a wonderful thing for a family. She had no hesitation in signing my medical release. I had to ask if she had seen any surrogate mothers in her office, and she had. She said they were all beautiful experiences. That made me even more happy to begin this journey. After my checkup I went over to the lab to get blood drawn. I needed to get my TSH levels (thyroid) checked again. I came home and scanned the release to send to Jeni, and told her that the blood results would be back within a day or two. No joke, 9pm that night, I got an email with my lab results, and my levels seemed to be good. So I sent that off to Jeni too.

I cannot believe how smooth things are going so far. At this point, I have done everything I need to do. Now I am waiting on my Dr's offices/hospitals to send my past medical records (pregnancy stuff) to Circle. I hope they don't take forever. I think the next step will be the phone call with the social worker. I was just thinking, today was the first day since starting this that I didn't talk to Jeni haha. She is so amazing, and she is the reason I have decided to go with Circle as my agency. She has been such a great go to person, support, and follows up SO WELL. So if you ever run across my blog, thank you Jeni for being so awesome.

In the meantime, here I wait. I'm seriously addicted to all things surrogacy. Really hoping to find a great group/forum so I can talk to some ladies going through the same process. I just joined a group on FB tonight, so I hope I like it. I always enjoyed being on babyfit when I was pregnant with my girls. Not to mention I made a few wonderful friends! Thanks for reading!

Paperwork!

Oh goodness, I have filled out so much paperwork lately! I hope I am done with this part until the contract part. So here is where I am at.

Simple Surrogacy accepted me but their process is much different, does not seem so paperwork involved so far. Which is kinda weird for me, now that I've been communicating with Circle more. Just seems like Circle is more thorough, or maybe that's just because Circle has reached out to me more.That being said, I reviewed about 6 profiles with Simple and really only found one couple I felt a "connection" to and they live in Ireland. So I wait.

Meanwhile, I am busy communicating back and fourth with Jeni from Circle, she's been so amazing  helping me through all this paperwork, releases, and checkups - everything. Today she told me she needed me to get cleared by my OB so I called and I have an appt tomorrow (I got in within 24hrs which is crazy), things are just falling into place, and it feels right. I really am loving Circle and Jeni has made the process so fun and exciting even if it is just paperwork so far. I feel like I am getting somewhere. She's shared her own personal journey with me and given me so much information. This is gonna be such a wonderful gift. Who will it be?

My "ideal" couple would be a happily married man and wife desiring a child of their own more than anything. I want to make their dream come true. The Lord will lead me to them, I just know it. It will be perfect!

Anxious!

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things."

Circle Surrogacy

So yesterday I called Jeni at Circle for more information. I have read up quite a bit in regards to the process, but it was nice to hear it from a live person and be able to ask questions as they come up. I talked to her for 35 minutes. She was a sweetheart.

Now that I am so excited about doing this, I just had to ask her about the process, and find out how quick I could be matched. I didn't want to sound desperate, but gosh, I can't wait and don't want it to drag out. She said she totally understood because when she made the decision to do it for herself she was the same way. So basically, if I get stuff sent to them asap, we can get the ball rolling and she said it is possible that it could take just 4 months. Not too bad considering the tedious process.

Step one is sending in some paperwork. I have already filled out my pre-screening survey and got approved so far. No on to another application, photos, pre-screening stuff, sending medical records. After all that is received there is a lengthy phone conference with a social worker who will speak with both Joe and I and kind of take a narrative of my life, for my profile. I was told this call could take up to 2.5 hours. Eeek!

Then we move on to selecting IP's (intended parents). I will select from profiles of couples that I would feel comfortable working with, then they go through and either choose or deny me. Which is fine, I want all parties to be comfortable and have the same hopes and expectations as I do.

Shortly after choosing the IP's we would be flown out to CA for medical screening. This includes meeting the IP's and making sure my body is healthy to carry a baby. It is 2 days and 1 night. They will also go over all medications and train me to use the needles...ack! It is all worth it!!

After that, it is 6 weeks of injections and monitoring via ultrasound etc, then we can do the embryo transfer! I will fly back to CA for the last time for this, then can see my regular OB after I am 10 weeks pregnant. What a journey right!? After that smooth sailing until delivery!

I feel so much better about this now that I have actually talked to someone. I have also connected with a few ladies on facebook, although I am looking for someone to stick with me along my journey - even though I have tons of support (once I spread my news that is)!

Keep praying, I am so excited, I can't hardly wait!

The Search: Agencies (4-25-13)

I have been online quite a bit, reading blogs, forums, and talking to a couple gals thru facebook in my search of a surrogacy agency. There is so much to think about, to learn and to be aware of, but thankfully there is a lot of great information out there.

So, so far I have applied with two agencies. The first is Circle Surrogacy, which is located in Boston. The second is Simple Surrogacy, located in Dallas. Through the application process, and email contact, I have found that I am connecting more with Simple Surrogacy. Stephanie seems to be extremely helpful, and she is very good about being in contact with me. I have sent in some paperwork they requested after looking at my application, and I am very anxiously waiting to hear about the next step. So far so good with Simple Surrogacy, and I hope that I ultimately end up with them.

I am going to be speaking with Circle Surrogacy on the phone tomorrow. They will answer any questions I have, and see if I am a good candidate for their company. Maybe after discussing things with them tomorrow I will feel better about them as well. Dallas just seems more convenient though.

So for now, that is it. Fingers crossed things check out well! Which, I know they will!

New Journey.

Well, this is my very first post to this new blog. For now I will keep it private, so I can jot down my thoughts, and experiences in this very new journey. Once I get a little further in the process I will share it. And I can't wait to tell you all about it!

I have thought about surrogacy for years. I guess I never thought it was something I would really be able to do. BUT now I know....I WANT to. I love both my girls with all my heart, and thank God every single day for blessing me with them. For as long as I can remember, back to being a little girl, I always knew I wanted to be a mother. It was part of my purpose in life. And He gave me the best gift of all. Two healthy, beautiful, baby girls. For a long time I wondered what I would do if I was not able to have a child. I'm not sure the word devastated would even do justice. So, I cannot imagine how some parents in this world feel after suffering through loss, rejection, and pain of infertility.

So with that being said, I am done having kids of my own. After much thought, and anxiety over being done, I decided that two kids is perfect for us, and my family feels complete. But I wasn't content. I really miss being pregnant. I have wonderful pregnancies, pretty much flawless, and I love seeing life grow inside. It breaks my heart to know that a family out there cannot experience what I am experiencing, simply because a mother cannot carry. That is when, just recently, it came to me. I decided to talk to Joe and see what he thought of surrogacy. Honestly, I thought he would say no. Not sure why, but I didn't think it would be "his thing." Much to my surprise, he said that if this is something I wanted to do, then sure, I could do it. We talked for awhile, and weighed the risks etc., and he again confirmed that he would be okay with me doing this. Just another reason I love him so much. He sees the desire and passion inside me for this, and says GO FOR IT! And I am thrilled.

There are two type of surrogacy: traditional surrogacy and gestational surrogacy. I will be doing gestational surrogacy. This is strictly IVF: not my egg (not my baby in any way), I am just the "oven." Just in case any of you were wondering. It would be much different for me (and I couldn't do it) if it were my egg.

Life is a journey, and I fully intend on living mine to the fullest. Surrogacy is on my bucket list, not to mention being able to help a couple turn into a family makes me so super excited. I can only imagine the look on their faces when they see THEIR baby for the first time.

Agency...

After searching information on the web, discussing with lot of agencies, french couples who did a surrogacy journey in USA, sending plenty of emails to have more details, we choose circle surrogacy. It was a difficult choice, i think all the agencies in USA know them....
But Circle seems to be a good agency very well known, and a lot of french people did their journey with them.

We also search informations concerning the nationality of the baby after the birth, because as it is forbidden in france, it can be difficult to make all the legal papers. Anyway, it does not matter, if after the birth france does not want us anymore, we will find an another country for our family.