Speechless

I know a lot of you are asking about how the ultrasound went yesterday. I wish I could say it went good, but it didn't. On top of not being a great ultrasound things after the ultrasound went way wrong.

It seems like an 8mm lining is ideal, but still on the thin side. Mine was either 4mm or 5mm - I was told two different things so I'm not sure what it was. Regardless, I knew the result wasn't good and I immediately contacted the IVF doctor for resolution. I asked him if we could change our med protocol. Asked if we could up meds, change meds - what's next? I've done my research and I talk to many surrogates. There are many options, and I'm not the only person this has happened to, in fact it is fairly common. However what came next nobody was prepared for.

The email response I got back was very short, cold. Basically said he thinks I am not a good candidate for gestational surrogacy and I've been disqualified. To stop taking all meds. That's it. My journey is over. Um.....excuse me?!

As heartbroken as I am, It killed me to have to break this new so my sweet IP's. I DID NOT want to contact them and tell them this news, (F has been very busy with work and C is vacationing with her father), but I wasn't getting much help and needed someone on my side. They are crushed. I am crushed. But I am thankful for our communication. I know this is so hard for them, and frankly I wish they didn't have to deal with it. It is not fair.

This will be the longest weekend ever. We've had correspondence with the doctor and it wasn't great. Now we must wait for Monday to see what our agency says. Maybe they will step in. Never would I have imagined it would end this quick, or in this way. This is such an emotional process and to be kicked to the curb so quickly is not only insensitive and hurtful, its unprofessional. I've talked to so many surrogates and read too many blogs to know this is not how it ends. As one surrogate friend wrote to me, "My oral Estrace wasn't increasing my lining enough, so I had to start inserting it vaginally. That's not uncommon apparently. I was only on it twice a day, MANY surrogates have told me they were on 5 or 6 pills a day. Plus there are estrogen patches, injections, and creams too. Inserting the pills vaginally usually makes a huge difference, sometimes as much as 1mm a day!" She had a cancelled transfer, but she didn't get disqualified. It seems unheard of.

I'm hurt, confused, annoyed and I wish this will all go away. They say everything happens for a reason but this I do not understand. Please be praying about this. It is not the end for us.

I could go on and on right now, but for now - I'm just gonna sit back and wait for more information, I'm already driving myself crazy. Information overload.

Biggest hugs to F&C - seriously love you guys!
Katy

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